I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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