I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
