well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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