Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
