Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
