ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
