i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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