Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
