I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
