She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Randomize
