so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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