At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
