I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
