You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
