Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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