we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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