doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
