i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
