Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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