I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
