I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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