My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was a blind-side dick pic.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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