Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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