I love black thongs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
