She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
