I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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