Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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