sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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