im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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