His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
