I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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