You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
