I just pynch a tree in the face
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
