dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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