I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
