Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
