I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
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