I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
