Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
