Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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