I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
