So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
as a side note pls kill me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
