I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
3pm strippers are depressing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
