Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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