Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
