it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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