I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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