**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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