spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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