She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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