My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
