Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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