I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
