Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
