Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
