A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
barbara walters just said penis...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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