Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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