Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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