$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
