I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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