if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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