party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
